Never had freedom.

 

Never had freedom.

A short time ago there was a big sign on a fence near my home saying “Freedom”. I liked the sign and can’t figure out why the owner took it down. That is one-word people are willing to fight for. Presently there are people all around our world who are fighting to the death for freedom. The most publicized is the war in Ukraine. A powerful country is trying to take freedom away from a smaller country and thousands are dying every day. Billions of dollars are spent on both sides to keep the war going. They took some of that money from my pension, which is just enough to keep me alive. The tax collectors consider the needs of governments, not the ability of citizens to pay. My freedom doesn’t matter.

I noticed that Canada Post came up with a new postage stamp portraying a picture of a young woman who was taken from Canada and sold in the US because she was black. Chloe Cooly never saw freedom, but thanks to her gallant fight, Canada changed its laws and became a refuge for runaway slaves.

I can’t remember ever having freedom. I arrived on the planet over seventy years ago and immediately lost my freedom. People twenty times my size tied me up with blankets so I couldn’t move and went on restricting my movements even when I learned how to walk. They had me in a cage called a crib. I rocked on my knees, banged my head against the bars, and cried. At the age of one, the adults did surgery on my body, for my health, but I didn’t know that. Mom left me in the hospital with strangers. I knew that.

After years on the farm, they took me to school. Here the teacher trained me and the other six years olds to sit where I was told, walk in line, talk if they gave permission, and do things I didn’t care to do. Every year that passed, society was congratulating me as more freedom was taken away. Later, I discovered teachers couldn’t teach kids what they knew best, but what the governments through committees and departments dictated. The freedom that we all talk about is an illusion, but we can’t get anywhere if we don’t work together.  

Each year, I looked at the kids in the next grade with envy. They were bigger, knew more things, and let me know I was only a little kid who wasn’t as good as them. They didn’t even want others to see them talking to me. Sometimes they told me to do things I didn’t enjoy doing, and I obliged, just to be in their company for a moment. All I could think about was to pass to the next grade and be like them, but I had to wait my turn. The ultimate goal was to be a grown-up, an adult, but I had to climb all the stairs to get there and most of the time I had to wait for nature to make me bigger. It never occurred to me I was wasting a precious limited lifetime wanting to get to the destination and ignoring the road to it. Be eighteen, be twenty-one, getting a degree, and winning a promotion, all left me empty, always wanting the next level.

In school, one way of jumping a few steps was by being a rebel and being punished. Of course, the price was steep. Later we had army training and disobeying could be deadly. At that point, my parents took me away and moved to Canada, the land of freedom. I had less freedom than ever being the emigrant who spoke no English and had no education, connections, or money. The banner of freedom in Lady Liberty’s hands under the Marble arch in Paris during the revolution didn’t include my kind.

I worked and studied hard trying to be equal to the rest and observed. Freedom fighters always were portrayed as rebels and terrorists by the establishment. Not a good image for me. I was on the side of Law and Order. This lasted until the world changed around the year 2020 and the biggest pandemic that my generation ever experienced happened.

I was sitting in the mall parking lot in Pincher Creek, watching an empty highway and a long train huffing toward the mountains. A few cautious people wearing masks hurried to the Co-op and back to their cars. The fear of death stopped schools, businesses, traffic, and all familiar activities. On the truck’s radio, the announcer said that we found a vaccine that could stop the disease, but Canada was no longer manufacturing vaccines and we couldn’t get our pre-ordered lifesaving medications for a while. The country went berserk with complaints about our government. All they could do was give money for people to stay alive until something changed. They did and rumors had it that large businesses were profiting from our pain.

While very few people used our legally granted freedoms to prosper, the rest wanted the freedom to receive whatever would keep them alive. Some wanted to get rid of the elected government and lead the country themselves.

I knew that I never had real freedom and never will, so I chose to be happy, anyway. I want democracy and to improve it. Others wanted revolution, but most of us don’t trust them. Even if they managed to lead without being elected, most Canadians know we did not choose them according to our laws. Their cries for “freedom” mean the rest will have less of it. They posted their signs quickly and took them down just as fast.

My choice is to have the freedom to work hard and be happy if I can be equal to others who do so. Some are happy with less than others and they should have their choice. Some make a minimum effort and need help, while others are happy only when they help. That is freedom.